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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Questions, Questions, Questions

I am probably going to make enemies, but I would like your honest opinions on what is proper blogging etiquette when it comes to comments. So here goes...

If someone leaves you a comment:

1. do you visit their blog and leave a comment?
2. do you send them a personal e-mail in lieu of leaving a comment; why?
3. do you totally ignore the comment?

I have visited many, many blogs in the past 1+ years, left comments and have had all three of the above happen. After leaving a few comments (meaning weekly for months) and getting absolutely no response whatsoever, I do not leave a comment and sometimes never go back to that particular blog...obviously the blogger doesn't care one way or the other.

Here is my opinion; if someone takes the time to leave me a comment, I try to visit them and leave a comment. I don't send a personal e-mail in lieu of a comment. If you are typing out an e-mail, why not just leave a short comment. We all like to receive comments. I never intentionally ignore anyone that has left me a comment.

Now that I have brought my questions out in the open...WHAT IS THE PROPER ETIQUETTE on this subject? I value all opinions, so don't be afraid to express yours on this subject.

37 comments:

Ulli said...

Hi! I've been reading you off and on for a while and I love your style and ideas. I do have a comment about comments. I don't have a blog but I love reading them. So, when I leave a comment on a blog I don't expect a reply. If I did have a blog I would feel like you--that I would visit and reply to the person how commented. There is one blog I read who emails replies to me and from what I understand, all others who comment on her blog. So maybe it's just an individual thing. Just my thoughts on the subject. Blessings to you...

Pam said...

Here's how I do it - not saying it's proper though.

If a new person to my blog leaves me a comment I go to their blog, look around and see what their blog is about and then I leave a comment on one of their posts. If it's a blog I feel I have a connection to I will save it as one of my favorites (in Explorer) and then go back again every so often. If I find myself liking their blog, I will become a Follower.

If it's someone who's a semi-regular on my blog who leaves a comment I don't necessarily go to their blog right then and there, because they are on my list of blogs that I frequent anyhow. So I will comment back, but not necessarily right then.

Now, I have my blog set up to send me an email whenever I get a comment. I just find it easier to keep track of who has commented and that I have read the comments. Ie, sometimes people comment on really old blog posts because they found it through a Google search and without it going to my email I wouldn't have known about their comment.

So in general, if someone asks me a question in a comment or has something that I want to respond back to, then I will respond to their comment via email. Sometimes I do a combination - respond to their comment via email and go to their blog and comment on their blog. Depends on how well I know them I guess.

I do find it annoying when I comment on a blog and they ONLY email me back saying "thanks for visiting" and never come to my blog and never leave a comment. An actual comment on my blog is how I know they stopped by.

I hope that makes sense.

Pam said...

Wow, sorry about the length of that response. lol

Kathleen said...

I agree, M! It takes as much time to type an email as it does to type a comment on the blog. (unless they have one of the i d words that take forever to do! ;) )
If someone asks a question I try to email them back with the answer. I don't expect them to come back to my blog to get the response. Who remembers where we have been? LOL

We all like to see comments left on our posts. If not, I guess that's why some disable the comment section.

Sherry said...

Mimi,
I am glad you asked these questions. I have been worrying about this lately. I have three sons and they all get online and game and stream video. We even hook our computer up to our TV and watch shows online but, in doing this You have to get some people offline to get a great reception. They ask me to get off all of the time. I try to reply to comments, but I will be the first to tell you I don't respond to every one. I also work part time. So, I am a bad commenter. I love to blog but, life happens and I don't always respond to every comment, but I do read them and enjoy visiting blogs so much!!
Hope I have written to you and not disappointed you ever in the past.
Sherry

xinex said...

Hi! When I get a comment, I do visit them and leave a comment also. If I have seen their post & have already left a previous comment on the same blog entry, I respond on email(if they have their email set up for me to be able to). If the commenter do not have a blog nor do not have an email for me torespond to, then I
just don't know how to thank them...Christine

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Here is how I roll! I also have comments come to my email so I can keep up with what I've read. If the person has an email I respond right then. I try to say more then just 'thanks' but not always. I don't usually visit the blog right then if they are someone I follow because I read all the blogs in Google Reader. I try to always leave a comment if I can. If the comment to me is someone new I try to visit their blog and leave a comment. I look to see if it's a blog that appeals to me (lets face it not every blog is for everyone) and like Pam I'll follow if I like what I see. I try not too worry too much about comments. I know we all have lives and sometimes a post has something that will illicit many comments and sometimes just a few (and I understand). So that's the way I work it. I hope I never offend anyone and I try to be a good blogging buddy.
Hugs,
Linda

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh, and I don't think there is an official Blogging Etiquette but maybe there should be...LOL!! :)

Dishesdone said...

I go to their blog and leave a comment. if someone asks a question, I'll answer it in the comments and send an email if there is an email address. I'm pretty sure most people don't come back to re-read the comments. Unless they subscribe to them? If they follow me, then I reciprocate and follow back.

Dishesdone said...

Good question, Mimi :) Now you owe me two comments, LOLOL!

and I don't have the word thing because I know Kathleen hates it!

Ilene said...

Hey, Kiddo, just my two cents here.

I don't usually answer people's comments that are left on my blog because I'm not sure if they check back to see if I have. It is possible to check the box saying you want to see updates to comments but sometimes that's a pain if lots of people comment after you do, and a lot of people don't like to do that.

So if I have a person's e-mail address I'll usually answer them that way.

Or if they've asked a question, I might make mention of it in the next blog, or do a return comment and then mention that in the next blog.

I do see everyone's comments because I have it set up so that I get an e-mail every time someone comments, with that comment in the e-mail. I like to see comments because it shows me that somebody's visiting regularly, although now that Blogger has stats you can see that there, you just can't see who it is.

When someone comments on my blog, if I've not seen them before I will almost always go to their blog and see who they are. Sometimes I'll leave a comment if I have something worth saying. If I like their blog, a lot of the time I will put a link to their blog in my sidebar. I don't usually sign up to follow because that means I get an e-mail every time they post, and I prefer to have it show up on my sidebar that they've got a new post and I can go to it from there without it adding to my e-mail list, and so can everyone that visits my blog.

I would never intentionally be rude to anyone by not answering their comment. And I think that's most everyone. Otherwise, why blog at all? Heh. Hope this helps.

Carolina Mountains said...

Great questions - it is kind of expected to return a comment on your blog with a comment on their blog but like you I get busy and don't get to it right away. Some email me instead of commenting and that is cool. I comment when I can and have put up the Blogger Without Obligation button to let folks know I can't always get right back to them.

Marsha said...

Mimi, I am so sorry because I know I am one of those people who get wonderful comments from you and other wonderful bloggers but do not always have time to comment back on all the blogs I read. No excuses for my behavior other than I read all the blogs I follow in google reader so it is an extra step to go to the actual blog and comment. I spend so little personal time on the computer in the summer as I am busy running a business. I will try to be a better blog "friend" and start to comment more often - I do read and enjoy each and every one of your posts!

Debbie said...

I will admit that I don't have much time to blog due to my work schedule and enjoying time with my family, but I do look forward to the day when I can be a better blog "friend"! I comment when I can, and appreciate any comments I receive. I hope you aren't offended by my blogging style :-)

Miss Merry said...

I worry that I offend some people who comment on my blog when I don't comment back. Part of my problem is that sometimes I check on the comments on my work computer (at work, naughty, naughty) and they have a blocker that allows me to look, but not comment. And then time gets away from me and soon it is another week. I really need to get better at this! I think this is a good post- especially for me!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Mimi, I agree with you. If I comment on someone's post, and they respond with an email thanking me, I feel that they must think my blog is not worthy of a visit. I TRY so hard to visit every blogger who leaves me a comment. I'm very fortunate that most of my comments are left by people whose blogs I love to visit anyway. This is such an interesting question, and I assume there are no answers, since we don't have an Emily Post of blogging. It just seems to me that I used to comment frequently on a particular blog. The blogger never commented on my blog until I stopped visiting theirs. Now, they have visited my blog and asked why I'm no longer leaving comments! I know I've written you a book, but this is something I frequently ponder also. Thanks for bringing it out in the open. laurie

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

All of that, and I still have more to say! Another thing that amazes me is that bloggers link to parties or weekly events and don't leave a comment on the blog they are linking to. It seems that if they like the blog enough to link to it, they would want to leave a comment. laurie

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

This is a wonderful post and an intersting question.

In a perfect world it would be delightful to be able to visit everyone, everytime they leave a sweet comment.
Of course we all love comments. They validate our posts, keep us connected and give a little boost to our egos!

Many of us just don't have the hours in the day to create quality posts, read and answer ALL comments, Read and answer e-mails, visit blogs we follow, visit blogs that follow us, visit new blogs, think up and create new ideas for posts, keep our blogs updated...

It is easy to answer comments if we get just a few on a post, but it is a daunting and unrealistic task to answer all comments if we would get 70! Not responding to a comment does not diminish the gratitude, joy and appreciation for the commenter if a blogger can't visit back just this time.

Here is how I usually handle it... I try to set aside a certain amount of time a day to visit and comment. I always answer all of the e-mails I get. Usually someone askes me a question or needs some information. I am diligent with that.
I visit a large number of blogs most days and and comment.
I try to respond to at least 1/2 of the comments I recieve. Sometimes more if time permits, sometimes less if life is hectic! I so appreciate people taking time to write to me. It is important to me to read and respond in a thoughtful way (or at least I try).
When I write a comment and don't get a reciprical visit and comment, I don't worry about it. If my material and content are good, that should attract people who enjoy my blog.I tend to put the emphesis on trying to creating interesting posts with beautiful pictures, for my readers.

There are only a couple of blogs that I may visit but don't comment on. It is because I have left numerous (lots and lots) comment over several months and have not been acknoledged, and I don't see them commenting on any other blogs either. Big fish in this big pond are responsible for visiting too!
Responding by e-mail is not a visit!

If I participate in any meme I thank the host and leave a revelent comment. This is a must. I am so grateful for all of their hard work.
And if I participate in a meme I visit at least 5 other blogs. Sometimes more. If I am busy the day a meme is posted, I go back later and comment.

The bottom line... blogging is part of our lives, not our whole lives. Doing a quality job and having meaningful relationships and things to say takes TIME! Let's all give each other a little grace and understanding. And let's be considerate to visit and leave comments on others blogs on a regular basis within the time our lives allow.
I love blogging and bloggers... we are a wonderful and supportive group.
hugs all round!
Yvonne

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Sorry, for some reason blogger posted my comment 3 times!
Yvonne

GardenofDaisies said...

I do all of my blogging directly from my blog. I don't have it linked to my e-mail at all, as there really is no need to do that. Blogger lets you set up your blog to list all your new comments and publish them as you read them, so there is no need to transfer it all to e-mail. It also allows you to link directly to that persons blog to leave a return comment right then and there, with just a click of the mouse, and then another click of the mouse to return to your own blog to continue reading comments.

I try my best to "return the favor" for those who comment on my blog. It isn't always the same day, because like many of you, I work a full time job and have a family and home to take care of. I also try to be the one to initiate comments with people I have not met before, so sometimes their comments are a return of something I have already written.

As far as what is "proper"... I don't think there are any blogging rules. But I think most people do the best they can with the time they have. That is different for everybody. I don't let it bother me if someone does not return a comment. I don't know their personal circumstances and try not to judge.
I encourage you to make friends with bloggers whose company you enjoy and who enjoy yours in return.
Hugs and best wishes!

SavoringTime in the Kitchen said...

Great post! I do try to visit each person who has left a comment and left them a comment in return if they have a blog. I feel if you are going to take the time and effort to make a post on your blog then you should also take the time and effort to comment.

Leslie @ goodbye, house! HELLO, HOME! said...

What Pam said, is my answer, too!
I do try to come by a commenter's blog and say Hi--especially if they are a new follower (hate that word)/friend.
But, we do need to give each other grace, and realize that sometimes life gets in the way of blogging, and we now have made, via the WWW, hundreds of new friends, and it's hard sometimes to visit everyone, and still get dinner on the table and the laundry done ;)
Some commenters are better than others at getting back right away--others, like me- take longer--this was a great question, as I have been going through all my blog comment emails, starting back in March, I started with 800! Some of them from the same commenters, some of them I have a regular rapport with, I just hadn't deleted them, is all, and I don't want to miss anyone! I am now down to 600!
I think in politeness, everyone should be responded to, but sometimes it's impossible...
just my 2 cents :)
Hugs, sweetie!
~me

Kathleen said...

Came back to see the new thoughts!

I am amazed that people join a meme and don't even leave a comment!

I have visited some blogs who turn off the comment portion. So they are truly the people who don't care about comments.
Everyone else does, and we all know we comment on those who take the time to comment on ours. Everyone is busy.

Another thing , what's with the commercial sites entering memes? I don't go to those and wish they would be deleted from the meme. There is one that shows up constantly!

I will be back!

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I want to come back and read all the comments when I have more time. I approach it one of two ways...my goal is to do both, but sometimes I get so behind that I can't. I go to my blog roll (is that what it is called) and try to read as many of the days postings as I can get to. Some days I get all of them read...but, I'm away from my blog much of the weekend, so I get way behind on weekend posts.

I also think it is a good idea to return a comment on the people that leave you comments...so some days, I start by commenting on the people who left me a comment and then go to the blog roll.

There are those who post multiple times a day and I don't always comment on all of their posts. There are a few people who never leave me a comment, even though I almost always comment on theirs. I have been thinking that I should stop visiting them and pay more attention to the people who make time for me.

I don't email instead of comment, but on occasion I do exchange emails with some of my closer blog friends or sometimes I answer someone's question by email.

Sweetladyelaine said...

Mimi,
Great question! Wish I had a great answer.......just have fun!
Remember this is coming from a new blogger!

Jenny at Henrietta's House said...

Hi Mimi,

I try to comment back as much as I can, but sometimes I am a little behind in reciprocating. I am really new to blogging so I don't know the etiquette. The only time I get to check my comments and post is between 9 and 10 at night, so I try as best I can to visit everyone who has commented. But I do think the polite thing to do would be to comment back to anyone (on their blog) who left me a comment. Email is not necessary.

BTW-I really appreciate all of your wonderful and supportive comments. Being new to blogging I am just so shocked and happy at how nice everyone is!!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

One last point about what would be helpful to other bloggers (especially hosts)... please list your first name somewhere on your page, "about me" would be great!

the passionate hairdresser said...

Okay. As you well know, sometimes I leave a comment, and sometimes I don't. And, I don't for a variety of reasons. I might not like what I see, so I just don't say anything (because, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all)or, I just don't feel like leaving a response. When it comes to my own blog, most of the time, I don't bother to reply to a comment because I figured you've already moved on. I don't not respond to offend, I just don't always respond. Sometimes it's a time crunch, depending on when I catch up with your blog. While I like comments to my blog myself, I'm okay if there isn't a response...it tells me that maybe my blog was boring, but I'm okay with that, too, because my blog is a way to get whatever is rolling around in my head OUT.

I don't know if that answers your question or not, but, there's my response.

Love you!!
B:)

Debbie said...

I'm anxious to read the comments because I am kind of new to the blogging and would like to do it politely.

I can't figure out how to email people who comment. I looked on my blog for a way to do it, but I'm daft. I *think* you get it from their profile? I know that I recieve emails and enjoy them.

Therefore, I am more inclined and prefer to follow up on a visit by visiting.

I actually do try to visit anyone who visits me, but I fear and know that I have likely missed some. Sometimes, I read and think for a spell about what I want to say before commenting. That's dangerous when you're blonde and forgetful.

I also hate it when I discover that someone is "following" (I dislike that word, too.) and I can't figure out how to pay them a visit. I'm sure it all comes down to that daft thing again.

I'm glad that I read this. It will help me.

GardenofDaisies said...

It is really easy to set up your blog to moderate comments and put them all in a list, right there on your blog, so there is no need to transfer everything over to e-mail.

Here is how to do it:

From your dashboard click on the settings tab
Then under that click on comments.
Who can comment- set it to say Registered users
Comment Moderation- set it to say always
Word Verification- set it to say no.
SAVE these settings at the bottom of the page.

From now on you should be able to go to your dashboard and click on the comments tab and have all your ne comments show up in a nice list. You can read the comment, see who it is from and decide to publish or not. You can also click on the persons name and it will take you directly to their blog... hit your back button and you are right back to your list to read the next comment.

So easy to read comment and to leave comments. Everything right at your fingertips!
(I don't understand why anyone would complicate their blog by transferring everything over to an e-mail which makes it impossible to visit the blogs of the people leaving you comments.)

Happy blogging everyone!

Tricia@The Dull and the Dutiful said...

Great post, Marigene! I am new to blogging and generally post just once a week for Susan's Tablescape Thursday, so it's not onerous for me to visit every commenter's blog and leave a comment. I understand that more prolific bloggers who get tons of comments would not have time to respond to every one. To encourage newer bloggers, I usually start with the last tablescape linked and work backwards, leaving comments, as those posted later in the day don't get as many visits or comments. We all love comments!

Grammy Goodwill said...

I'm still new to this whole blogging thing. I guess I'm a stalker. I've been reading lots of blogs, but I didn't even know I could comment on them until a month or so ago.
I have a blog set up, but I haven't started posting on it yet. I only have an identity so I could post.
What is a "meme"?

SmilingSally said...

Mimi, I'm TOTALLY in agreement with you. I always leave a comment when I visit anyone's blog, and EVERY time someone is kind enough to leave a comment for me, I return the favor.

Would you believe that on Blue Mondays, some people link in and NEVER leave a comment? I find that rude.

Yellow Rose Arbor said...

I just tonight read this and I applaud you for writing it! I've had most of the same questions! These have been a real sore spot for me as well.

I think it is downright rude when a blogger doesn't reply back to a comment someone has left. I hope I have not been one of those rude people, but I do get behind sometimes. I usually only play on the computer at night and sometimes I get behind, or forget!

I've had a policy to only reply and comment to people who leave comments to me first, but I change this when I have more computer time.

I do NOT like the replies of "Thanks" by email. I feel the same as someone else stated here -- they think my blog isn't worthy of a visit, etc. I don't mind an email if they are inquiring about something, or want to chat.

Sorry to be late commenting on this subject I was out-of-town when you posted this (long weekend at my husband's class reunion!)

Katherine

Linda @ bushel and a pickle said...

Thank you for asking this question. I plan to reread all the posted comments to sort in my own mind the how to's and the way to. It is very helpful forum for those of us who are still learning.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Hi Mimi,

In all honesty, until a couple of weeks ago, only a couple of blends (blog friends) were leaving me comments, so it was easy to respond. Most of my friends and family left me messages on email or FB. Right now I am responding to comments by leaving a message for visitors under the post that they left me a comment, and visiting their websites and commenting on their posts.

I have learned that some of the bigger bloggers have between 100,000 and 300,000+ visits a month, so how could they respond to everybody who visits and comments?

I think it is very nice, this new trend of individually emailing those who comment, but have decided against it unless there is a specific question or something of a personal nature comes up...or I feel a connection with the person and would like to pursue a closer relationship over time.

I can imagine how overwhelming it can get. Still, people love to be recognized and I want to be a good hostess to my blog guests. Now I will read your other comments and see how your readers handle this.

Thank you,

Kathy
Central Oregon